A moment being out of sorts.
11:58 AM Edit This
I thought I've became more independent. Maybe I did for a while, during the months overseas. Maybe because life reverts back to how it was... Maybe I didnt change afterall.
He told me way before, that I was a naive person, I need to stand up on my own. I felt like I'm a burden to him sometimes. And most of the time, I needed other pple more than they needed me. The worst case, I just wasn't there for other pple. I felt I'm living other people's life more than my own.
Then I wonder... what the hell was I doing the last time I was alone? I'll play my piano. I'll read manga, and I'll draw out my fav characters. I'll edit them over a few days and show it to my mum. And she'll smile, I'll pout, "that's all?" and continue pestering her, "Is it nice??" haa.. I haven't done that for the longest time. My last drawing, I think it's still SamuraiX. I didn't really get back into the manga interest ever since. Partly because my mum complains I spend too much money on them and there's no space to keep them. What's the other part?... I wonder...
My piano playing... I feel that I'm no talent like what some others think. I admire people, continuing their passion. Like zx, he doesn't stop composing even after he stopped lessons. He and his friends created more music sparks while jamming tog. For me, I'm not sure if i'll pursue my diploma in the future. Maybe diploma isn't really suitable for me cuz the only times I play my piano is when I'm sad, or frustrated. Really, I dun think I play when I'm happy. Conversely, I play best when I'm upset, cuz I put all my emotions into it. And that translates to either strong, loud and heavy pieces... which nobody really appreciates.
Whatever happened to me? sigh.
He told me way before, that I was a naive person, I need to stand up on my own. I felt like I'm a burden to him sometimes. And most of the time, I needed other pple more than they needed me. The worst case, I just wasn't there for other pple. I felt I'm living other people's life more than my own.
Then I wonder... what the hell was I doing the last time I was alone? I'll play my piano. I'll read manga, and I'll draw out my fav characters. I'll edit them over a few days and show it to my mum. And she'll smile, I'll pout, "that's all?" and continue pestering her, "Is it nice??" haa.. I haven't done that for the longest time. My last drawing, I think it's still SamuraiX. I didn't really get back into the manga interest ever since. Partly because my mum complains I spend too much money on them and there's no space to keep them. What's the other part?... I wonder...
My piano playing... I feel that I'm no talent like what some others think. I admire people, continuing their passion. Like zx, he doesn't stop composing even after he stopped lessons. He and his friends created more music sparks while jamming tog. For me, I'm not sure if i'll pursue my diploma in the future. Maybe diploma isn't really suitable for me cuz the only times I play my piano is when I'm sad, or frustrated. Really, I dun think I play when I'm happy. Conversely, I play best when I'm upset, cuz I put all my emotions into it. And that translates to either strong, loud and heavy pieces... which nobody really appreciates.
Whatever happened to me? sigh.
